Whichever way you look at it, this is offensive, Mariella Frostrup tells a 20-year-old whose first boyfriend described her as his ‘slutty little girl’
The dilemma I am a 20-year-old woman who has been dating a guy three years my senior for the last three months. We became official and he introduced me to a few members of his family, as well as suggesting we go on holiday together in a few weeks’ time. This is my first real relationship and I was excited by it and him. However, recently he mentioned how his initial impression of me was that I was a “slut” because I was willing to sleep with him after three dates, and he referred to me as his “slutty little girl”. He has mentioned that he does want to sleep with other women, although not when we are dating. Since he said that, I don’t find myself getting excited about hearing from him or the thought of seeing him again. In fact, it fills me with slight dread. We have become very comfortable around each other and spend most weekends together. But sadly I have even begun to question if I want to be in a relationship at all. I am starting to feel like an imposter, and I’m not really sure what to do.
Mariella replies May all girls be blessed with your good sense. As you have gleaned, you’ve been cast in a role you don’t desire, based on entirely outmoded assumptions about female behaviour and made worse by what it reveals about your lover’s peccadillos.
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